Mans Guide to 50 shades of Grey

Valentine’s day, the one day of the year that a man is expected to let loose, give in to girly side and do girly things and be all romantic like. Well, I do believe that the summit of Valentine’s day is taking your afterhours boss to go see 50 shades of grey.

This review is purely from a man’s perspective who has not read the books – I will admit that upfront.

Be prepared to take anti-cholesterol medication with you, because the movie is cheesy, very very cheesy with an extra service of cheese sauce all smothered in a thick layer of cheese. Fundamentally, it’s about a 21 year old College Student Anastasia Steele and 27 year old Billionaire Christian Grey. Grey, although being a billionaire, still has time to take off work at a whim to woo Anastasia, visit her at work, visit her at her parents, basically make Anastasia the centre of his world, all while finding time to become a chopper pilot and a sailplane pilot… Realistically, even a billionaire who is the head of an enterprise, who’s time is in precious demand, would not be able to come even close to being able to devote so much time to a new girlfriend.

Anastasia on the other hand goes from being a prim and proper virgin to a down right promiscuous faster than the EFF is kicked out of parliament. It feels like a conundrum, on the one hand woman are falling head over heels for 50 shades of grey,  Are we to believe that what woman want is to meet an assertive man who forces himself upon a woman and woman would be happy with that? I think not. I would wager that if any tried what Christian did we would have many sore groins and lawsuits – add in a billionaire, sounds like a payday to me. So, why is this so popular with the ladies?

On the positive side, the movie is a good crash course in mat it means to be in a Dominant / Submissive relationship in the classic BDSM description. It is remarkable how Anastasia never gets any bruises or cuts from the sessions she has to endure, in fact she normally comes out looking exactly the same as she did on the way in.

Billionaire Christian is never photographed with woman, yet in the movie it says he has had multiple partners beforehand, come on – not one of them spoke out to the media – he managed to keep his secret BDSM life a secret for all this time even with that many women?

Personally, I think the movie romanticises BDSM and creates an unrealistic expectation of what BDSM is. There seems to be a disconnect between a passionate love story between a billionaire and a student, yet Christian harbouring his dark bdsm secret uses his power over Anastasia to in essence force her into something she has no knowledge or experience in, is she able to make an informed decision into what she is getting herself into?

Most men will understand this as a cheesy movie partying unrealistic expectations of what women want, even though woman appear to be taking to 50 shades, sending out a strange message, do women want to be dominated? I believe the answer comes in the reality barrier, where fantasy is all good and well in your mind but breaching the boundary between fantasy and reality will not have the same effect. The idea is great in your head where you are in control of the fantasy, but as soon as it manifests in the real world, with real consequences, real pain and real bruises, your fantasy starts turning into a nightmare.

So, Men, 50 shades is not a licence or a guide book by any means , she may enjoy getting spanked but there is a boundary between abuse and informed consent.

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